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Is Your Boss a Grizzly Bear?
January 22, 2010
Sharp teeth and large appetite notwithstanding, your boss isn't actually a wild animal, but may have certain traits in common with a grizzly bear wandering around Yellowstone at the height of camping season.
"While the bear-like behavior of the great majority of negotiators stems from mistrust, from time to time you may encounter those who simply get a thrill out of dominating others and whose goal is to win by any means. They don't want fairness; they want to triumph," says former research director and lecturer at Harvard's Kennedy School of Government, Melanie Billings-Yun, author of "Beyond Deal Making: Five Steps to Negotiating Profitable Relationships." "They don't listen to your arguments or suggestions. They withhold or misrepresent key information. They seem to go out of their way to intimidate you with loud, menacing, and abusive language."
What can you do when you encounter a grizzly bear?
1. Never base your decision on the decibel level of the other party. If you believe the terms you offered were fair and reasonable, says Billings-Yun, you should change them only for the valid reasons mentioned above. The best way to respond to grizzly attacks is to demonstrate your legitimacy calmly and ask the attacker to explain the basis of his objections. "The more collected you remain," she says, "the quicker he will realize aggression isn't shaking you and he is the only one shouting, which leaves him looking rather foolish. He will soon give up."
2. Never negotiate against yourself. One common trick played by bears is to get you to make repeated concessions, by professing dissatisfaction with every offer you make. The way to guard against this is to insist on a two-way exchange. If the other negotiator tells you your initial offer is too high or too low, instead of automatically adjusting your terms, ask her what price or other terms she is looking for. This gives you something to respond to, says Billings-Yun, "and takes the negotiations away from mind reading and bear-feeding and into justification and problem-solving."
3. Be willing to walk away. Your decision whether or not to accept certain terms must not be based on what the other negotiator wants, regardless of how forcefully he presses his care or what she may do if you say no. Rather, it's a question of whether the offered terms achieve your basic needs and are better than any other current or potential offer on the table. If a deal brings you no value, or less value than you could obtain elsewhere, you are better off walking away. Just knowing you have other options will create an invincible fortification against bears, says Billings-Yun.
4. Think beyond the deal. A negotiation sets the stage for a future relationship and offers a glimpse into how the relationship will function. Therefore, a dysfunctional negotiation process is a vital warning signal, which should lead you to question whether this is the party you truly want to work with, says Billings-Yun. A negotiation with a major purchaser, vendor, or business partner characterized by power play and take-it-or-leave-it ploys will likely lead to a working relationship characterized by ever-increasing demands and little concern for your needs. A negotiator who lies or misleads you to get a deal will likely take advantage of or cheat you during implementation of the deal. "If you feel from the negotiation," she says, "this is not a person or a company you could work with beyond the deal, you need to reassess whether you really want to enter into this relationship. If not, you are better off walking away."
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